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26 | Morning in your childhood home

On feeling unmoored, and weird serendipity

Deadmedia shares monthly peeks behind the scenes, writing updates, and creativity thoughts from SF/F author Samantha Garner. Learn more here.

Hi everyone,

I’ve been a strange sort of transitory headspace lately, mostly due to a couple of weeks spent helping my parents (both in their 70s) as my dad recovered from knee surgery. It was quite incredible how those two+ weeks knocked me off-course. Before then, I didn’t realize how much my mental health depends on the small unstructured yet dependable moments of my life: my quiet morning coffee, my daily walk around the neighbourhood, my evenings spent chatting with my husband. Add to that the heightened stress and anxiety of caring for ageing parents, and for a while I felt like I was floating between realities, unmoored.

Despite the fact that things are largely back to normal, I don’t have complex thoughts for this edition of Deadmedia. I hope, though, that you’ll accept a very old blog post of mine, which I wrote in 2010 immediately after moving back to Toronto from Calgary. My husband and I had spent the night at my parents’ house before continuing on to our new apartment, and I remember feeling very disoriented the next morning, in those first few moments before waking up fully. Given that I did spend a few nights at my parents’ house recently and many hours during the days otherwise, randomly rediscovering the post last week really struck me. So many things are different but still so much the same, 14 years later.

You can read it here, but I’ve also included it below (it’s v. short).

There are certain sounds that will be comforting forever: slippered feet on that creaky floor, early morning radio debates, water being poured into a kettle, screen doors sliding open. I stretch and kick the metal footboard as I had done every morning, and before I am fully myself I forget the last nine years ever happened.

“morning in your childhood home” May 08, 2010

Please help me choose a thank-you gift

If you were a brand-new subscriber to Deadmedia, what would you most like to get as an automatic thank-you gift when you sign up? I’ve narrowed it down to three options and I’d love your feedback about which one would be best. I’ve set up a quick poll here - you don’t need a Google account and you don’t have to share your email address. It’ll only take a minute and it’ll be immensely valuable, since you’re an existing subscriber and you know what I’m all about. And of course you’ll receive whatever the winning choice is too. Thank you very much for your help!

PS, some extras:

In case you missed it, I’ve had an article published at the Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers Association blog: Character Development Lessons From Video Games. I’m also very excited to be a panelist at the very first Filipino-Canadian Book Festival in July! I’ll share the details as soon as I have them, so watch this space or my other social media spaces - yay!

Also, I wanted to share a few cool things I’ve read and watched recently: Firstly, I’ve been enjoying virtual readings by Strong Women - Strange Worlds, who promote women and nonbinary authors writing sci-fi, fantasy, and horror. The latest event featured Kristy Gardner as one of the authors and it was a lot of fun, especially since I’m reading her Broken Stars series right now! I’ve also started reading Corinne Cunningham’s new book Paths Through the Year: a Year-long Exploration into Place, Creativity, and Self, and I love her introspective reflections on a slower, intentional life. It’s the exact kind of comfort I need right now.

Thanks for reading Deadmedia today, and leave a comment to let me know what you thought!

Talk soon,

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