Deadmedia shares monthly writing updates, folklore & history inspirations, and exclusive content from SF/F author Samantha Garner. Learn more here.
Hi everyone,
If you follow me on Instagram, Bluesky, or Facebook, you’d have seen that I received an Artistic Creation grant from Canada Council for the Arts, and Ontario Arts Council Recommender Grants via House of Anansi Press and Wolsak and Wynn Publishers.
Exciting stuff! The funding will let me devote time to finishing Corrode the Song, the project I’ve been updating you on this year. When applying for these grants I provided a timeline for finishing a submission-ready manuscript this year, and my deadline for finishing the first draft is coming up very soon.
It’s been a strange process. I’d like to share a bit of it with you.
Shitty at shitty first drafts
I wouldn’t call myself a perfectionist, but I do pride myself on writing relatively clean first drafts. I don’t mean that they’re perfect (holy mother of Cheetos are they not perfect!), but I like to give myself as complete a scaffolding as I can. I like to sort out major events outside of the main plot beats, and I like to have a well-realized world on the page. I don’t like leaving accidental mysteries for myself.
Turns out though that isn’t always possible, especially when I’m on a deadline. Not news to most people, I know! But for me it’s difficult. Hell, it’s almost a foreign concept. One of the most mind-altering experiences I’ve had as a writer was in 2018, the first-ever meeting with my writing group the Semi-Retired Hens, because one or two of them put placeholder notes in their work. I’m not exaggerating when I say I’d never really done that before.
I’ve had to add in more placeholder text with this first draft of Corrode the Song than I’ve ever used before. The majority of the draft is intact and the placeholder text is just here and there, but I have to admit it feels weird. Almost wrong. There’s that writing advice about writing shitty first drafts, and I believe in it, but it’s hard. Lest you think I’m bragging, let me tell you that I think it’s hard because I’m scared of it.
There’s such comfort and safety in my writing style. It’s how I’ve written for years. It’s what I know best. It may not be the best, but it’s mine. It honestly feels scary to write “[TK RITUAL GREETING]” and move on, trusting myself to sort it out later. What if I can’t sort it out later? What if I forget what past me had in mind? I have to remind myself that I know what I’m doing, and that I always write out a little memory prompt for myself if I’m worried I’ll forget.
It’s a strange feeling. At this stage in my writing career I know my voice. I trust my vision. But sometimes all of that is shaken. It’s uncomfortable to step outside of a mindset I’m used to. The funniest thing is that I’m the only one in this little scenario. Nobody’s telling me I’ll forget — if anyone did, my monocle would pop out in affront. But here I am, scared of a little placeholder text as if it isn’t all coming out of my own brain.
I’m getting the hang of it though, and the dread has abated quite a lot since about chapter 9. I wonder if I’ll always write this way, or if when this is all over I’ll return to my research rabbit holes, and drafts that my editor for The Quiet is Loud called “self-sealing.” We’ll find out, I suppose, when I start the second draft in April!
One thing that’s helping — or four things, more correctly — are the history books the grant funding allowed me to order. I’ve built Corrode the Song on some historical research already, but I’m so excited to dig into these books and uncover more cultural and historical aspects for my worldbuilding.
“A History of Finland,” “Barangay: Sixteenth-Century Philippines Culture and Society,” “Kalevala Mythology,” and “Boxer Codex: A Modern Spanish Transcription and English Translation of 16th-Century Exploration Accounts of East and Southeast Asia and the Pacific”
PS, some cool focus tools:
Two things in tandem have really helped me sit down regularly and focus on my writing, and I thought I’d share them with you in case you have a similar need.
The Focus Friend app. In this app you work with a little anthropomorphic bean (mine’s called Louis) who knits socks while you focus. With those socks, the bean can purchase furnishings for their home. It’s honestly the only focus app I’ve ever tried that I actually stuck with.
Skyrim pomodoro videos. I discovered a YouTube channel called Ambient Horizons that creates videos to study or work along with, each video divided into a few 25-minute chunks with 5-minute breaks in between. My favourites are Skyrim-related: the player’s character sits in various locations and reads while Elder Scrolls ambient music plays. Perfect.
I want to hear from you!
Thanks for reading Deadmedia today. I’d love to hear what you thought — leave me a comment or hit Reply to send me an email!
Talk soon,
-Sg.
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